The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Dear Bondi Crackhead

… please shut the fuck up!

For the record, this is not Crackhead McDopehead. Nope, this is some random crackhead at bondi.

Here is the scenario setup. I met up with a few guys from work at Cafe Bondi. Since the sun was out, I thought I’d take Tumper and Mr Skelington for a ride. When I got there, I saw them taking their seats at the table at the corner of the cafe. Great, since that is close to the road and I can park my bike right next to us. Just as I got off my bike, Mr Crackhead yelled out from a few seats away: “Oi mate! Mate! What’s going to happen when that car pushes your bike straight over?!?”.

To give you a better idea of the layout I assembled a map from paper mache.

Back to the story…my response to Crackhead yelling at me from a few tables away:

“Well I’ll give that person a smack if they push my bike over!”

So Mr Crackhead sat back and said witha arms outstretched, “well I warned you mate! I warned you, it will not be on my head!”. “Thanks for your concern” was my response.

Now usually I would go and move my bike if someone had a problem where I parked it. But since I sat right next to it, I thought I’d move it when the time is right or if the need is there.

After I ordered my coffee and started chatting away, I heard a glass fall and break and incometh Mr Crackhead. “Mate, mate! Come take a look, come take a look…” Not sure why he repeated everything he said…I stood up “Fine, not like I have anything better to do”.

He ushered me to the the space between Car 3 and Car 2 (see diagram). “Look at all this space mate!” Then he moved to the space between Car 2 and Car 1 “Now mate, mate, you can see that there is no fucking space here mate. So when this car reverse, he will push your bike right over mate.”. Now I know that you shouldn’t argue with a crackhead, I mean, look at Crackhead McDopehead’s arguements. “Well that won’t be good” I said.

“Exactly mate! So mate, just move your bike to the grass over there mate.”. So I asked him if he was the owner of this wonderful vehicle. “No mate, not mine mate”. So….erm…wtf….

“Right…I’ll move it..” and got interrupted “That is a good idea mate! Just move it to the grass” “…later, I’ll move my bike later.”

“So I sat down again.”

A while and a few jokes later, the owner of Car 2 arrived with the family owning Car 1. And I thought, fine, I’ll have to move my bike. But no, they left together. No reversing required.

“It’s OK mate, mate, you’re all good Champ!”. “Thanks, was wondering about that…”

You would not believe what happened next. Two cars pulled in and another bike between them. So here we go again. But no! His attention was still on me.

“Look mate! A second one mate! Look!”

This biker wasn’t the pleasant fellow that I am. Nope. all patched up and no hear. He took off the vest and his shirt read “If you can read this, the bitch fell off”.

“Mate you shouldn’t stop there!”. The biker glared at him and walk off.

Later the crackhead stumbled passed. “I’m an Aries mate…you know what they say about Aries mate, they can be pushy and determined mate. Cheer mate…”



One response to “Dear Bondi Crackhead

  1. Jamel November 23, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Ideal content, We are viewing back frequent to look for posts.

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