The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Monthly Archives: October 2011

The blame game

If you know you where wrong, or told you made a mistake, blame some one else. Maybe even the person pointing it out. I tested this theory on Nelson Muntz:

(11:05:36 AM) TvZ:
(11:06:08 AM) Nelson Muntz: you’ve sent me that one
(11:06:13 AM) TvZ: still good
(11:06:15 AM) TvZ: read it again
(11:06:19 AM) Nelson Muntz: i have!
(11:06:23 AM) TvZ:
(11:06:25 AM) TvZ: again
(11:06:59 AM) TvZ: I don’t think you grasped the hillarity of it…
(11:07:00 AM) TvZ:
(11:07:11 AM) Nelson Muntz: i assure you i have
(11:11:37 AM) TvZ:
(11:12:24 AM) Nelson Muntz: i get it, i really do 🙂

Well that failed, but still, it is pretty funny:


Dear Bondi Crackhead

… please shut the fuck up!

For the record, this is not Crackhead McDopehead. Nope, this is some random crackhead at bondi.

Here is the scenario setup. I met up with a few guys from work at Cafe Bondi. Since the sun was out, I thought I’d take Tumper and Mr Skelington for a ride. When I got there, I saw them taking their seats at the table at the corner of the cafe. Great, since that is close to the road and I can park my bike right next to us. Just as I got off my bike, Mr Crackhead yelled out from a few seats away: “Oi mate! Mate! What’s going to happen when that car pushes your bike straight over?!?”.

To give you a better idea of the layout I assembled a map from paper mache.

Back to the story…my response to Crackhead yelling at me from a few tables away:

“Well I’ll give that person a smack if they push my bike over!”

So Mr Crackhead sat back and said witha arms outstretched, “well I warned you mate! I warned you, it will not be on my head!”. “Thanks for your concern” was my response.

Now usually I would go and move my bike if someone had a problem where I parked it. But since I sat right next to it, I thought I’d move it when the time is right or if the need is there.

After I ordered my coffee and started chatting away, I heard a glass fall and break and incometh Mr Crackhead. “Mate, mate! Come take a look, come take a look…” Not sure why he repeated everything he said…I stood up “Fine, not like I have anything better to do”.

He ushered me to the the space between Car 3 and Car 2 (see diagram). “Look at all this space mate!” Then he moved to the space between Car 2 and Car 1 “Now mate, mate, you can see that there is no fucking space here mate. So when this car reverse, he will push your bike right over mate.”. Now I know that you shouldn’t argue with a crackhead, I mean, look at Crackhead McDopehead’s arguements. “Well that won’t be good” I said.

“Exactly mate! So mate, just move your bike to the grass over there mate.”. So I asked him if he was the owner of this wonderful vehicle. “No mate, not mine mate”. So….erm…wtf….

“Right…I’ll move it..” and got interrupted “That is a good idea mate! Just move it to the grass” “…later, I’ll move my bike later.”

“So I sat down again.”

A while and a few jokes later, the owner of Car 2 arrived with the family owning Car 1. And I thought, fine, I’ll have to move my bike. But no, they left together. No reversing required.

“It’s OK mate, mate, you’re all good Champ!”. “Thanks, was wondering about that…”

You would not believe what happened next. Two cars pulled in and another bike between them. So here we go again. But no! His attention was still on me.

“Look mate! A second one mate! Look!”

This biker wasn’t the pleasant fellow that I am. Nope. all patched up and no hear. He took off the vest and his shirt read “If you can read this, the bitch fell off”.

“Mate you shouldn’t stop there!”. The biker glared at him and walk off.

Later the crackhead stumbled passed. “I’m an Aries mate…you know what they say about Aries mate, they can be pushy and determined mate. Cheer mate…”



Thumper Halloween upgrade

Thought it is time to give Thumper a Halloween upgrade. A new grill and a friend to keep it company.

The grill cover…

And his friend, Mr Skelington

Welcome to TheThumper

I’ve made a recent move from wordpress to my own domain. Dedicated to my bike…named Thumper.

Perception vs Reality : Hackers

We’ve all seen the movies right! In Swordfish the uber jock hacker would help a counter-terroris team steal money from the evil government. I watched it for Halle Berry’s boobies!

In the movie Hackers, Johhny Lee Miller takes on a mega-mind criminal with the help of Angelina Jolie (note the booby scene).

With all these big names behind hackers, they must be pretty damn cool right:



They are not cool, infact they might just be a buch of kids who’ve learnt how to use a DoS application from an internet cafe. Thy drink their 7-up and laugh as they make other’s lifes miserable.


You are damn right that I’m still not over the fact that someone hacked into Sony and deprived me of online slaughter and mayhem for over a month!

I’ll go sulk in the corner now

TwitterFeed Test

I found a service that should do the job of automatically post posts to twitter…so if you haven’t figured it out yet…this is a test.

Moving to

We’re moving!

New location :

Click on the picture below to be redirected.

Or click on this

Or click on


Mario and his shrooms

I discovered (read rediscovered) Zac Gorman’s Magical Game Time. It is pretty good and I enjoy the animations he puts into his comics. Then I came accross this one:

I passed it on to Crackhead McDopehead. He is not as chatty and insightful as Nelson Muntz and the second conversation I had with him so I thought I’d share a few things I picked up.

(12:37:50 PM) TvZ:
(12:38:45 PM) Crackhead McDopehead: unfortunately there’s no blocks i can headbutt which spew out coins
(12:38:53 PM) TvZ: I finally get super mario!
(12:39:00 PM) TvZ: it’s not about what makes you happy
(12:39:37 PM) TvZ: it is about a plumber down in the dumps because he works on toilets the whole day. so he eats some shrooms and starts “dreaming”
(12:40:14 PM) Crackhead McDopehead: that’s pretty deep
(12:40:19 PM) TvZ: the good shrooms though
(12:40:20 PM) TvZ: as in hallucinogens
(12:40:31 PM) Crackhead McDopehead: pity all his wet dreams = princess is in the other castle
(12:40:38 PM) TvZ: exactly
(12:40:52 PM) TvZ: where will a plumber ever get a princess
(12:40:55 PM) TvZ: seriously
(12:41:00 PM) TvZ: who thought this shit up
(12:41:05 PM) TvZ: must have been on shrooms as well
(12:41:14 PM) Crackhead McDopehead: most likely

What happens when

One of my friends posted a question regarding the essence that would make up the meaning of life. I thought I’d share that question with Nelson Muntz:

(1:49:30 PM) TvZ: where’s a question for you:
What happens when Pinocchio says, ‘My nose will grow now’?
(2:18:03 PM) Nelson Muntz: his nose explodes from the confusion
(2:18:22 PM) TvZ: yip. my thought was null pointer exception or devision by zero error
(2:36:37 PM) TvZ: GOT IT!
(2:37:03 PM) TvZ: He becomes a undead-half-boy-half-wood
(2:39:19 PM) Nelson Muntz: lol what?

(2:39:42 PM) TvZ:


Hitting with a what?

Conversations tend to switch topic quite quickly as I get easily bored.

This is a recent conversation I had with someone.

I’ve cut out the last bit for obvious reasons.

Crackhead McDopehead:
TvZ: Call it BS. That is just a kid with a book. She actually handles the book better than the iPad. the fact that she turns pages shows it is pretty normal
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah
Crackhead McDopehead: it’s not like the kid knows what she’s doing with the ipad
Crackhead McDopehead: just random colours moving around for her
Crackhead McDopehead: but i’ve been recommended that videos like 3-4 times already
TvZ: really….that is sad friends you have then
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah, they are all rude bastards
Crackhead McDopehead:, need sound, probably better when no one is watching behind you…
TvZ: she is pretty insane
TvZ: I struggle with one instrument
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah
Crackhead McDopehead: the song she was playing was made famous by this group of 12 girls playing classical instruments to modern music..
Crackhead McDopehead: she did it by playing it alone.
TvZ: what do you mean the song was made famous by 12 girls playing classical music?
TvZ: Most parts of it was classical music
TvZ: so made famous by the dude who wrote it
Crackhead McDopehead: to the my culture 🙂
TvZ: ah right
Crackhead McDopehead: we are not cultured to classical music 🙂
TvZ: pfft…get up to speed with the times ..geez
TvZ: welcome to the 18th century
Crackhead McDopehead: slow down
TvZ: knew I knew the original
TvZ: Mozart, Symphony no 40. written in 1788
Crackhead McDopehead: ah.. that dude
TvZ: that one
TvZ: minus the electronic keyboard and the thingy with too many strings
Crackhead McDopehead: he’s shit, that other guy was better
TvZ: beethoven?
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah, that dude that can’t hear…
TvZ: well both can’t hear a thing since they are both dead
TvZ: makes it rather difficult
Crackhead McDopehead: sh!t.. had no idea
TvZ: yip. They are pretty inferior to me, not being able to live past 200 years…pfft
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah, but no one wants to listen to the music you create..
Crackhead McDopehead: it involves bed creaking and (add person you don’t like) screaming..
TvZ: you are thinking way too much about  (add person you don’t like)…. a bit scary too say the least.  You must be missing (add person you don’t like)
Crackhead McDopehead: yeah, can’t wait to see  (add person you don’t like) so I can hit  (add person you don’t like) with a baseball bat
TvZ: so that is what you call your penis…never knew…
Crackhead McDopehead: sorry, didn’t realise hitting  (add person you don’t like) = using a penis in your dictionary.. but hey, i’m not judging..
TvZ: I’m just applying what I know of your relationship with (add person you don’t like) to the conversation, that is all
Crackhead McDopehead: ah.. i forgot, you’re the one getting hit in your relationship with  (add person you don’t like)
TvZ: anyway, I don’t use my penis in my dictionary, weird fetishes you have
Crackhead McDopehead: mate, dictionary …… *moderator putting an end to this rubbish*

So you can see…well….there must be a moral to this story….

Never close a big dictionary on your penis while trying to play multiple instruments, since that is what happens when you learn to use iPads at a too young an age.