The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Monthly Archives: June 2011

The Visit

Book of spells

This weekend my wife’s parents are coming over. I’ve tried everything, but alas…nothing worked. I will be looking forward to a bit of a break though. I have been coding way too much the past few days. Work hours and in spare time. And I might complain less when I get back from my break….hold that thought and don’t bet on it.

Summoning ash cloud

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Perception vs Reality : The Food Court

Working in a city you tend to see a lot. One of the things I’ve noticed is how people perceive themselves at a food court, to how they actually act.

The average Joe at a food court would like to think of himself in this fashion.

How they really look while waiting for food:

Gamers or To Play Games

The Kotaku article I Am No Longer A Gamer talks about how people are classified and tagged and how perceptions should change.

I had to add a comment to it (my comments to articles usually are without proof and makes no sense):

People call me different things depending on my actions.
When facebook updates show I played games, I’m called a gamer.
When I go to the gym at lunch time, I’m called a gym freak.
When I drink a protein shake, I’m called a roids user.
When I order a controller board and electronics, I’m called a geek.
Fuck’em, I call myself superior and emperor, as soon as others realise this, we’ll get a long better.

This actually makes perfect sense in my mind.

I can code in about 4 different languages, I “talkith” two almost fluently, I can bench press 110kg and I can build a robot from schematics.

Every thing I/you do has a word or some tag linked to it. Hell, even a blog post has tags, because they have to be grouped. I tend not to give a shit about that. I talk to people who interest me (not a lot out there), not because they are “tagged” as a gamer, gym junky etc, but because they have something to say that I’m interested in listening to. Talking to “only a gamer” can get frustrating as trying to get rid of dog shit from under a boot. Talking to some one who exercise for a living is as intellectual as talking to a nail about the perfect angle to penetrate wood.

Tags are for people who don’t understand others.

 

Don’t Suffocate the Baby

I never look at packaging material, I usually get a box, look for the “This Side Up” sign and start opening. But this time I actually did.

This is what I saw:

baby soffaction

So please, don’t go pulling a new Dell laptop’s packaging over a baby’s head, I know they cry a lot, but this packaging explicitly forbids it!

Why Children Start Drinking

One of the most common problems here in Australia is under aged drinking. Children getting drunk… So I wondered and pondered and pondered and wondered what could be the cause of this? I think I found the answer. It is the Government!

Now I’m not one of those conspiracy theorists that believes the Government covers up everything… In fact, I believe the Australian government is opposed to covering up. To be fair it is actually just Tony Abbot that runs around in swimwear that is way to tight.

Anyway, I digress. I remember when I was younger, we played outside…played with sticks, built bows and shoot poorly formed arrows. etc etc. So to relive my younger years, I decided to build something I loved. A slingshot. What is that I hear you ask…Let’s ask Mr Google:

But wait…am I allowed?

No…I’m not….

According to the Weapons Prohibition Act 1998 No 127, Schedule 1 Prohibited weapons,(Section 4 (1)):

(6) A slingshot (being a device consisting of an elasticised band secured to the forks of a “Y” shaped frame), other than a home-made slingshot for use by a child in the course of play.

WTF!

What else is there on that list that is just ridiculous?

(8) A blow-gun or blow-pipe that is capable of projecting a dart, or any other device that consists of a pipe or tube through which missiles in the form of a dart are capable of being projected by the exhaled breath of the user or by any other means other than an explosive.

Ok that is it. We’ve just made a weapon out of the tube and a pipe.

I’m going to go with some extreme examples here.

Let’s say Tubby stole Johnny’s lunch box. Johnny has had enough and decide it is time for sweet revenge. He grabs a ballpoint pen and stabs Tubby in the eye!

Pen stabbing

That’s ok…it was an accident and Johnny should just get some counselling for what he has seen.

tubby dead

The second scenario is more realistic in what Johnny will do. He’ll remove the pen’s inside and shoot a spit ball at Tubby. But hold on. he just created a  blow pipe!

spit ball

Johnny get’s sent to the juvenile correctional services for assault with a prohibited weapon. Nice!

So back to the slingshot. I use to make tonnes of these. Even from curtain rufflettes. YES I know what a rufflette is!

This is a basic picture of a rufflette:

Here is one converted to a slingshot (prohibited weapon):

Deadly weapon? not quite.

So how this all comes back to children drinking….well…what else are they supposed to do?

They aren’t allowed to make wooden swords :

(17) A side-handled baton or any other similar article consisting of a baton, staff or rod that is made of any hard substance and has fitted to one side a handle, whether or not that handle is permanently fixed.

Maybe all of the above is a little drastic….but true isn’t it. I haven’t lost an eye after making numerous slingshots, blow pipes, knives and a sword. That’s right, I made my own knives and a one meter long sword back in South Africa (where no one cares). I taught myself how to throw knives at 14. And haven’t killed anyone.

So here is a little something to leave you with:

build something?

The Great Escape

The Great Escape

As described in “the weekend dilemma” and “the karaoke bus rescue” (that never came). There was one more problem I faced.

I had to sit through 4 wineries’ wine tasting. While listening to the sales person pitching how their’s is the best and the different varieties of smoke and nuts you can taste in a sip of wine….bollocks. I mostly tasted wine. So I looked around and saw that there were few great opportunities to escape.

These were the options:

  • Rally cars,
  • Face painting,
  • Wine Barrels,
  • Diving through a window,
  • Blending in with the band
  • and a hostile take over when all else fails.

The Great Escape

Unfortunately I couldn’t pull any of these off since there is one variable I left out of the occasion, I would sleep on the doormat for a week for leaving my wife to endure all of it alone. So every time I looked over to the nearest door or window, I got a death stare/pinch/kick on the shin…or all at once.

The Karaoke Bus Rescue

that never came…

So I had a dilemma this weekend and the big problem as explained was the bus.

I had one way out….but it never realised. ..SIGH

the bus rescue

How my day gets better

So I”m not a morning person…And I have to think of ways to make it better…

The Weekend Dilemma

This weekend I have a dilemma. We are going away on a weekend trip to celebrate a friends birthday. We will be staying with 18 other people in a BnB at Adam’s Peak. Then the morning we will be picked up at 9 to go on a karaoke bus vineyard tour…..right….now the dilemma(s)…

I generally don’t like people I don’t know.

I don’t sing karaoke.

I don’t like wine.

I don’t share.

So when we received the room division and I cringed. I will be sleeping in the kitchen and share a bathroom with 5 other people. A plan had to be made!

I sent the group this response. It was a basic plan of everything I thought might go wrong and cause issues, the second one is the solution to all our problems.

Graffiti on Apple’s wall

In a recent Gizmodo article, the author described two guys pulling a prank on an Apple store “fanboyism”… The two brave pranksters put a big microsoft windows “sticker” on the side of a apple store’s construction walls.

So the comments started pouring in…One said that they should have used Tux. Then I replied:

how about the BSD daemon bumming Tux while waving a windows flag and eating an apple?

So to rule out any “fanboyism”, I think any prankster in the future should use this: