The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Monthly Archives: May 2011

The safest bicycle in the world

In a recent article the author described all the features a safe bike should have…preassembled and self assembled bikes should at least have the following:

All bikes sold in Australia must include protective guards, reflectors, brakes and some form of warning device (such as a horn or bell). If a bike or bike kit you see on sale doesn’t include those, then don’t purchase it.

Reflectors and breaks are standard and only a fool won’t have those. But what about the other features?
So let’s start with a standard bike and build the safest one in the world.
Here is the standard one (crappy iPad drawing):

crappy bike drawing

We’ll add horns to let people in front of you know you mean business:

bike horns

Now we’ll add a light…I was surprised that this wasn’t on the list of safety features:

bike light

Notice how I had to put the light under the bike, main reason isn’t the two bull horns that might take the light’s space, but I thought putting it lower gives a cooler under glow look.

I know they say horn/bell but why not add both. so we’ll include a bell as well:

bike bell

Lastly is the main safety feature that any bike should have. A protective guard:

bike guard

Frankenstein all these together and you are left with the safest bike in the world:

safest bike in the world

I should really patent these under FartNose Productions. But not sure where I’m going to get the medieval guard. Still a brilliant idea.

*All drawings were done on an iPad….still getting use to it.


Planking? WTF?

So what is this new over hyped planking thing?
Apparently it has something to do with people lying flat on surfaces and some other fool taking photos of the planking fool.
Now we know what it is. So that got me confused because some idiot died after drunk planking…now that doesn’t sound like the description above it sounds more like what I had in mind when I hear planking…


Obama’s right hand man

What happened in the situation room on the day Obama got taken out? Will the public ever really know. Conspiracy theorists are popping up all over the place. Putting to paper what they think happened?

We’ve all seen the situation room picture right? Well here it is:

obama in the situation room

Then a newspaper started editing the photo and took the only two females out of the picture…that can’t be right… But hold on…that opens a brand new door Alice. What else has been edited from the original? Looking at the photo above. you can see all the people in a bunch trying to see what is going on…but not to Obama’s right

Why is that? Who was edited out?

Who was Obama’s real RIGHT HAND MAN?

Well I can speculate, but I can also tell you who it wasn’t :

osama situation room

All jokes aside… who is the man for the job…maybe the Terminator himself:

Arnold Terminator situation room

No, that can’t be it.

How about the man that is always willing to give the final order:

sho kahn situation room

That could be a possibility, if he wasn’t a FICTIONAL CHARACTER!!!

But I think I have it. How can give the order to a team, willing to go into a room, get shot at and still do the job??

What does he look like?!? Marcellus Wallace!!

Marcellus Wallace situation room

There you go! The man himself!

The egg that should have hit Justin Bieber

I wondered how it was possible that the 17 year old Sydney boy ended up missing Justin Booger with all the eggs he threw at him.

Apparently he broke in through the roof and bombarded dancing-moving target with a bunch of eggs. Was his aiming so shit? Was he completely drunk? Or was the Booger’s dancing moves to slick for the 17 year old?

I’ve seen the video footage and it is clear that the problem was in the eggs used. If only he spent a bit more money to get the Ultimate Egg!

Let me show you what should have happened:

Bieber dodging eggs

Oscar the ostrich egg

I had a one final image of oscar beating the Booger with what is left of the shell, but decided to keep it from the public. I will however email it to anyone paying me to do so 🙂

Obama, PSN and Skynet

TvZ: Kuma Games released an episode where you can hunt down Osama. Never heard of it. but it looks like it is a free FPS engine and the company releases free “episodes”. Pretty cool idea. I’ll probably try it at home.
Nelson: what did you think obama was playing?

 TvZ: He was actually controlling a T100 terminator. Why do you think nobody have seen the Seal Team 6??
 Nelson: unfortunately for you, some obama dude just top scored that game … maxed it out so you can’t win that game..
 Nelson: thats why they shut down the PSN… in case someone hacked in and took control of some T100…
 TvZ: yip
 TvZ: pretty smart
TvZ: Sony is actually the US armys world wide network
 Nelson: would explain wikileaks then… pentagon probably used the same network..
 TvZ: mmm…true….sony=skynet
 TvZ: what is Japanese for Skynet?
 TvZ: is it Sony?
 Nelson: probably

You can check out the Kuma game at :

Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms.

Happy Mother's Day