The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Monthly Archives: April 2011

Fish Cakes, the web comic

I’ve started drawing a bit in my spare time, no big artistic feats, but just for fun. I’ve decided to draw a bit of a web comic.

And the name? Fish Cakes. Hosted at smackjeeves.com for free. It is a web comic about fish. Yip, fish, but I have to say, I’m no marine biologist, just a fool drawing pictures.

Here are two screenshots. Click to have a closer look.

Jedi clamps

Pirate Joe:

Pirate Joe meets Whitey

A Farmville I might actually play: N.O.V.A

I hear Gameloft has released a facebook game that I might actually play.

It is called N.O.V.A Elite. Where NOVA stands for Near Orbital …couldn’t care to read the rest.

It is a FPS! for facebook…I get to shoot people on facebook! Ahhh…but there is a catch (like all things on facebook), you will need to buy upgrades for weapons and armour etc.

Here is a screenshot of it:

NOVA Elite

Since this is how it’s been looking for the last 20 minutes…I guess I’ll try it later….

Useful but totally impractical inventions: Ankle Suppressor

This one is close to home for me. I have a very serious condition where my Ankles make popping sounds when I walk. It is continuous and really loud especially when I sat down for a while. That’s the symptoms and a lot of answers on Google around it. Most concerning is the fact that it can’t be cured. I have the same issue with talking BS, but that’s a whole different story all together.

So I have the answer all you fellow Ankle Poppers have been waiting for!!!

I introduce: The Ankle Suppressor.

I got the idea while playing a combination of MAG and Battlefield. If you can suppress the popping sounds of an assault rifle, why not the ankle?

A 1” think sound suppressing foam surrounds the ankle, not only prevents injuries, but also prevents the ankle from moving all together. No more popping sounds!

Ankle Suppressor

So not only did the ankle popping stop, you also like a character who stole a space marine’s boots!

Ankle Suppressor Space Marine Boots

Another thoughtful idea by FartNose Productions.

Portal hype…I don’t get it

What is the big deal about Portal and Portal 2?

Overrated I think. You have one weapon. That’s right…one…. Nothing to kill, just shooting some portals and jumping through them. That sounds shit boring. “No wait!”, I hear you say, “but there are challenges”…given to you by a robot voice thing (add stupid plot here)… sounds like President Eden from Fallout (mini spoiler there), but just shittier.

At least Darksiders had the decency to give you a few demons to slay after jumping through a few portals. And I have to say, I found that to be fun. You create the portal and jump through it to solve a puzzle, but a whole game of it….o hell no. Darksider even went as far as integrating the portal “mechanism” with a boss fight. That is fun. But just jumping around and let a gravity and game engine do the rest….nah

I borrowed this image from PS3 Attitude Darksiders’ portals even look more impressive.

I have to say, for me to play Portal 2…the have to introduce some big ass guns and robots to kill.

FartNose Productions…the future

I’ve got it!

I’m going to start my own production company. I have no idea what I’m going to produce or how to start a company. But at least I’ve got a name for it.

FartNose Productions!

That’s right! It is a name that will stick with you for a loooooong time.

I’ve even got a quick logo design:

fart nose productions

 

And for all you copy cats out there. It is my idea! I’ll sue the pants off of you if you try to steal it.

I’ve even got one for my mother tongue:

poep neus produksies

 

So there. It will be bigger than the KISS and MoneyBag brands in no time!

 

My first FPS

Not long ago I got my hands on a copy of FPSC (First Person Shooter Creator) by The Game Creators. It is what the name says. You can create your own FPS games with an easy to use interface. Buggy yes. But easy none the less. You basically start with a clean canvas and start dragging and dropping “segments and entities” on to it.

So I started mapping out my home and then the office…fun yes, but too small. And my imagination unfortunately does not help in creating bigger maps. So I turned to the internet.

Going through various map generator sites, I came across one with great potential. Dave’s mapper it is called. Check it out at davesmapper.com.

It is basic and simple with the drawback of not yet allowing easy saving of maps. After generating a few, I came across one I would attempt. It looks like this:

davesmapper dungeon

The dungeon I would attempt in FPSC

I had to make a few adjustments and wanted to make a few others. As an example the bottom right corner I decided might work as a cell block for prisoners. But after finishing it I realised it looks stupid, so I modified it. I made it bigger, the starting point of the game with an obvious escape route (as you would find in any good prison).  I’ve also made it more multi layered to enable bigger rooms.

Let’s try to add a few screen shots of the maps.

FPSC Cell block

Above is the altered cell block. The green arrow the start position and the green door behind the start position, the obvious escape route. I might change it to only be usable once the player picked up some sort of pipe or something. Not figured it out yet.

Then there is the barracks.

The barracks

Think I need a patrolling soldier or two here.

As with all WW2 spin off games, you need a zombie room:

Zombie Room

Just look at him feasting on the body there. … mmm…. anyway.

Lastly every game needs a boss character right:

Big Boss

 

I do actually have the whole map mapped out but couldn’t get proper screen shots of all the layers. map is too big.

Once I learn how not too suck at playing my own game, I’ll attempt a few in game screenshots or better yet some videos.