The Geek Biker

Rambles of a geek that rides a bike

Monthly Archives: April 2010

Can you really buy that?!?

I’m a big fan of failblog and every now and then you see some things you just can’t believe to be the truth. Especially when it comes to stuff you an buy in the shops. And I’m not talking just about adult shops, because there are a lot of stuff there I still don’t believe is usable….

Anyway… back to the weird and wonderful stuff you can buy.

Let us start at this one…I believe this must be a know why? The packaging looks a bit dodgy.

When I saw the next one, I thought to myself; “Myself, what would the practical use behind this be??? Is it used to teach dogs not to go after road kill?”

I don’t know what to say about the following…. really….look at it…

Now this one I believe should be sold in an adult shop, but look at the guys face…o dear….

Usually I would like to end the post of with an attempt of wit which ends up in sarcasm…but..I have nothing…


Santa is Satan

A forewarning, if you still believe in Santa…don’t read…or do….did I mention that I don’t care….anyway

I had a conversation with one of my work colleagues today (whom I’ll call Nelson Muntz). It started with a random post about the tooth fairy and escalated to a full blown conversation about how evil Santa is. Well in my mind anyway.

Here is an extract which I’ve changed slightly for easier reading:

(12:19:08 PM) You feel a disturbance in the force…
(12:19:10 PM) Nelson Muntz: “The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money.”
(12:20:55 PM) Tertius van Zyl: Yip. And Santa is a fat man in a red suite that gets into your house at night and gives away free presents and candy.
(12:22:02 PM) Nelson Muntz: so have you slapped (somebody somewhere) out of my desk yet?
(12:22:08 PM) Tertius van Zyl: Nope not yet
(12:22:23 PM) Tertius van Zyl: I have a theory about Santa….care to hear it?
(12:22:28 PM) Tertius van Zyl: I’ll tell it anyway
(12:22:51 PM) Nelson Muntz: lucky I did want to hear it then..
(12:24:46 PM) Tertius van Zyl: Santa = Satan…. He lives in the north pole…. and the polar caps are melting…coincidence? He wears red suite….devil is …red…. He knows when you are naughty or nice….ready to take you to hell….his big black boots: to cover his hooves. His hat : To cover his horns. He has demonic deer that flies. His bag is for kidnapping. And the last truth: Who laughs HO-HO-HO???????
(12:25:33 PM) Nelson Muntz: wow, you have been giving this A LOT of thought!
(12:26:08 PM) Nelson Muntz: but yes, your theory makes sense, except there’s no purpose to that theory?
(12:26:28 PM) Nelson Muntz: apart from scary kids into being good, which doesn’t really make a diff whether it’s Satan or Santa
(12:26:32 PM) Tertius van Zyl: human (unseen though) form to walk around on earth
(12:26:54 PM) Tertius van Zyl: But he is unseen…so he is not actually scary is he?
(12:27:36 PM) Tertius van Zyl: And what is the greatest trick the devil ever pulled? Convince the people that he doesn’t exist….Do we believe Santa exists? nope…we stopped believing in that a long time ago
(12:30:42 PM) Nelson Muntz: Just realised you are actually being sensible and not just a joke theory. As such, I’ll put some thought into it to. Must remember that oppose to you, as I am non religious.

– If unseen, why does he need to have a “Santa form”
– Mess kidnap/death of infants on silent night is unheard of
– Why only one night in the year
– If he is going to kidnap, why does he need a reason
– as an aside, the south pole is melting too 😀
(12:31:05 PM) Nelson Muntz: Mass* kidnap/death
(12:36:43 PM) Tertius van Zyl: worthy points.
Unseen to those who does not believe in him. But children still see him. So they would trust a big fat jolly guy with sweets. All unsolved cases. Now one will believe a lot of parents who say that their children got abducted by aliens or went all ghost busters on them. Laws of religion keeps him from taking the good ones. Maybe the parents are happy not to report the bad children that went missing. Not only is both caps melting, but the earth core is a ball of fire…not everything is explainable…but it is there
(12:43:00 PM) Nelson Muntz: more points:
– if unseen, how do you know he’s red?
– why would he care if there were children or not?
– unsolved and unheard is vastly different
– if parents on mass reported missing children, there will be mass coverage
– why would he respect laws? He wouldn’t be Satan if he did!
– good parents can have bad kids too, and most parents would care if the bad children is missing!
– Nearly all planets have a molten core..
(12:43:20 PM) Nelson Muntz: it is interesting though… that concept, must admit I’ve never heard of it.. and yet it does make some sense
(12:44:26 PM) Nelson Muntz: one another thing, unless you are the one true genius that exist in your religion, you would think religious leaders would’ve killed off these tricks of satan ages ago?
(12:47:42 PM) Tertius van Zyl: pfft…as if that is possible. All religions have tried it in the past. Crusades, Jihad etc etc etc… not that easy.. O yes, did I mention that the other name for Santa is Saint Nic??? Very close to Old Nick (which is an old English nickname for Satan)
(12:49:44 PM) Tertius van Zyl: Not to mention juggling Santa actually gives Satan
(12:51:50 PM) Nelson Muntz: here’s two questions I ask my religious friends:
“If God is omnipotent and he wants to rid the world of evil, why doesn’t he just destroy Satan?”

“If you know you would get killed and does nothing about it, is that suicide?”
(12:52:30 PM) Nelson Muntz: I’m not saying your theory’s rubbish.. the opposite really.. intrigued though that all Christian countries in the world pretty much embrace Santa and the whole story.
(12:53:31 PM) Tertius van Zyl: nah, don’t think about it too much, but Santa is there to get the children to go to bed early in x-mas eve so the parents can party and get wasted on eggnog.
(12:54:26 PM) Tertius van Zyl: I’ll have to use this conversation in my blog.
(12:54:38 PM) Tertius van Zyl: will change the names
(12:54:44 PM) Nelson Muntz: rofl..
(12:54:54 PM) Nelson Muntz: can’t wait to see what stupid name you give me..
(12:54:56 PM) Nelson Muntz: probably nelson..haha

—-End of Conversation—–

Food for thought….. I think it is clear from the whole discussion that a valid conclusion can be made. That conclusion is that I can’t think of any good replacement names when copying and pasting conversations from a chat log.

Annual Good Deed

Once a year I go out of my way to do a good deed.

This one I’ve been paid well for.

I like to put to you: Legends of Echo!

South Africa’s first location based mobile RPG game. It has one massive acronym and even better graphics.

But first the acronym: MMOLBMSG(RPG)

And then some screen shots:

Oooo!!! Fighting!

Social Interaction with the other players??? Unheard of !!

If I were still in South Africa, I would definitely be playing this game. But don’t let that put you off from trying it yourself! My friends worked really hard on this one.

Looks good. Sounds good. Is good.

Some links to the game and some reviews:

More Facebook Idiocy

Facebook… it is an interesting how people follow anything it suggests.

I wonder who wrote the suggestion algorithm… no wait…I ranted about that already….there was something else….


Fan pages!!!

More and more I see people fanning up to different pages, events or even people.

Let me list a few interesting fan pages

Then I thought…wait…I’m a fan of a few things…I’m a fan of Cyanide and Happiness.

That is worth being a fan of and makes sense as well. I’m also a fan of H.R Giger….now that doesn’t make sense, because I’m not a fan of him…I just like his work…So that one will die a quick death.

I’ve recently seen a fan page: I ♥ Sydney. Again that doesn’t make sense, does it? You are a fan of loving Sydney…not a fan of Sydney, but rather a fan of the concept of loving Sydney…  Now I’m confused…..

Another pet hate – album names!!

I know I have an ever growing list of pet hates…but to be fair…this is my therapy. Getting it out in the open. As open as to those few that actually spend the time to read or scan over this page.

As a note, this is not a personal attack on anybody, because I know there are a lot of folks that are guilty of pushing my annoyance. Maybe you read this and believe it is truly the case…well think of others then…or me in that case.

Social networking has taken over the world long before Skynet. And as a user, I found myself forced to look at other people’s post and pictures…promise that I once had a gun against my head, forced to look at others’ photos.

Then I made a startling discovery that started bothering me. And since I noticed it the first time, I’m seeing it again and again and again and again…and it is sorry to say, but woman are more at fault then men in this case.

Everybody who uploads photos seems to think it is “cool” (as the kids of today say) to  have an album called Random or Good Times (in any language and a lot of variations). I have seen Random Times, Random Good Times, Some Good Times, Some Random….etc etc etc.

Was it truly random? Was it as good for you as it was for me? I doubt it. Will it be random when someone looks at it? Nope, probably not. Will it be a Good Time when some one looks at it….nope… Is it descriptive in any sense? Is it a good name for an album??? The list of unanswered questions go on and on and on.

But alas, more and more of these albums pop up. I’m waiting for social networking sites to create proper filters on photo album names for me to filter out any of the above mentioned words or combination of. I’ll probably only have albums with words like boobs, bOObs etc in. but that is fine…they are albums I would like to see 😉

I will even go as far as to provide some names for those who feel inclined to use the fore mentioned names:

  1. The abyss of pictures
  2. Pictures I can’t be bothered to group
  3. Archive (One of my more boring ones)
  4. A black hole of useless pictures
  5. Don’t look at these – they have no group
  6. Hey look – I got a camera
  7. I looked at the birdie
  8. I find myself oddly amusing when pulling a duck face
  9. Look I can pout
  10. I wanted to upload something

The list goes on and on.

I might write a book called “Useful names for useless things”. This post will be expanded into a chapter thereof.

Again, this is not a personal attack on the reader who might have such an album name (probably does), but an attack on a whole group of people who can not think of another name for an album that some one hasn’t already used or could be nearly descriptive of the content.

That is it…all I had to say….